Pics Of Kaitlin & Robert

I thought maybe I would put some pics of Kaitlin and her boyfriend, Robert, on the blog for those of you that have not met or seen him. They have been dating about a year and a half, and I am somewhat embarrassed to say that i don't really have that many pics of them together.

I figure I would share the most recent ones that I have taken for now. Homecoming is only about 3 weeks away so I will post those pics then. These pics were taken just this past weekend, my absolute favorite one is the one of her and Robert standing in front of the sunset. I love the colors and how pretty the sunset turned out. I was just playing around with the manual settings on my new camera and hit the jackpot with those couple of pics. I LOVE them, hopefully everyone else will too.

So here is the link to the pics:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2006722&l=dc4ac&id=1045219109

Love to all...

Caleb's Chinchilla

Several months ago we decided to get rid of Caleb's birds because he wanted a pocket pet. Once we found a home for the birds we had to decide what kind of pocket pet he wanted. At first he said a hamster, but hamster can be very nippy and we knew Caleb would not like that at all.

So we settled on 2 gerbils, and life was good. Well after about a week of owning the 2 gerbils one died. Back to the pet store we went to acquire another gerbil. The "new" gerbil and the "old" gerbil did not get along. Again back to the pet store went this time carting back the "old" gerbil to trade for another "new" gerbil. Apparently when gerbils make a home some place and you add a new gerbil the old gerbil will fight the new gerbil to the death over it's territory. Our only option was to take the old gerbil back and get a new one. That way both of the gerbils in the cage would be new to the territory.

Again life was good, the two new gerbils got along just fine. Suddenly we went from having gerbils that played all day to having gerbils that wanted to play all night. This began to pose a problem for Matthew who happens to be a very light sleeper. After several nights of Matthew going crazy and ending up on the couch for the night we decided that maybe we needed a different pocket pet.

Once again back to the pet store we went. This time we were looking for a degu, they are a cousin to the chinchilla and suppose to be very social and cuddly pets. Of course when we went to the pet store to get a degu they didn't have any available. Now I didn't know what to do. I began questioning the pet store owner about a pet that would be social and cuddly for Caleb but yet quiet at night for Matthew. She said...How about a chinchilla? I love chinchillas but have always heard that they can be mean. I told her I was a bit worried about it biting all the time, she said...as long as you continue to play with it everyday then it won't bite you. That they are actually very social pets, but require a lot of attention to keep them from becoming feral.

I asked her if she had one for sale, and could Caleb please handle it for a while. She brought out this cute little fuzz ball, and Caleb fell in love with it right away. The owner of the pet store me that she really didn't want to sell it but that she would if Caleb promised to give her a good home. Of course Caleb promised to love her and take really good care of her, within the hour we were on our way home with a pet that would hopefully meet the needs of both boys.

Her name is Honey Bear, she is 3 months old, and just as friendly and sweet as can be. Hopefully Caleb will give her the time and attention that she needs to stay that way. Although I have to say that we all have fallen in love with her, and for now she doesn't want for attention at all. I am hoping we keep it that. Although the cats all think that they would love the opportunity to give her some attention...HEHEHE!!!

Here is the link to the pics of Caleb & Honey Bear:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2006705&l=c936a&id=1045219109


Love to all...

Matthew's Creations...

As all of you know Matthew is our "little engineer", he is constantly building lots of things out of his legos and knex pieces. Since I have always taken pics of his creations I decided that I would begin to share them with our family and friends on our blog.

Here is the link to view his newest creations:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2006704&l=a695a&id=1045219109

I will post more as he creates more, and trust me that will probably be in the very near future. This is how he constantly spends his time, so new pics won't be too far off. I hope you enjoy them as much as we do.

Love to all...

The First Day Of School...

Hip...Hip...Hooray!!!

August 19th was the kids first day of school. It was only for 2 hours, but yes folks the new school year has begun!

This year...Kaitlin is a Junior at Bushnell-Prairie City High School...Matthew is a 6th grader at Bushnell-Prairie City Junior High, and Caleb is a 4th grader at Bushnell-Prairie City Elementary School!!! WOW how quickly they are growing up!!!

I know Kaitlin will do very well this year as a Junior, and Caleb I am not too worried about...he has the same teacher he had in 2ND grade (the same teacher also had Matthew last year! She has only been teaching at BPC Elem for 3 years and each one of those 3 years she has had one of my boys in her class...poor girl!) Matthew I am a bit more concerned about, this is his first year in Jr High. He doesn't cope well with change and as we all know there is A LOT of change that happens at the Jr High level!!

I will keep you all posted on how the kiddies are doing after the first couple of weeks go by, until then I am sure I will be busy catching up on stuff I didn't get done throughout the summer.

Love to all...

Kaitlin's Sweet Sixteen party!!!

I would say that Kaitlin's party was a big success! We had 55 out of 75 people show up, and most of them were her friends. So all in all I would say we had a pretty good turn out.

We went to the VFW at 3:00 set up all the decorations, 3 tables of the "Kaitlin Shrine", and rearranged all the tables to give more room for dancing. We were done around 4:30, then we all ran home to get ready for the party. About 6:30 we met the DJ up at the VFW so that he could set up and do his sound checks and everything prior to the guests arriving.

She looked very pretty, the food was a huge hit, the music & dancing was fun, and the cake was...well..interesting! I will talk about the cake in another post very soon, I promise. That cake was a disaster from beginning to end!!

She got a lot of very nice gifts from people as well as lots of money. For the most part I think she was truly happy with the outcome of her party. In her words...It was everything I wanted it to be, and I had so much fun! Well I am glad she had fun, and most importantly I am glad it went off without a hitch.

Love to all...

Pic Link To Sweet Sixteen Party...

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2006411&l=a78e3&id=1045219109

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2006411&l=a78e3&id=1045219109

Yes there are two albums. You can only put 60 pics in one album...and DUH I had wayyy more than 60 pics. HEHEHE...

Love to all...

The Picture Blog....

OK as of about 3 days ago I permanently deleted the picture blog. I am having a hard enough time keeping up with the 2 I already have, so I am going to put the pics on my Facebook profile. Once they are on Facebook it gives you a public link that people can click on to view the photos. I am going to try this for a while and see if it is any easier. If you have any issues being able to view them on Facebook please let me know and I will try something different.

Love to all...

Hooray...She Found Something To Wear...

Things have been kind of tense between Kaitlin and I since I have asked her to wear a cute sundress for her party!!! We have been all over Peoria in every shop you can think of and there was absolutely nothing she would even consider.

She tried on a gorgeous teal and white dress that she looked stunning in...it was beautiful on her. Plus it really complimented her eye color. Well of course I LOVED it...she HATED it!!!

And so the battle began...

Every dress I liked she didn't, and every dress she liked I didn't. What craziness...my poor husband and sons were forced to endure this grueling battle between the to of us. (Maybe I shpuld mention that my husband and sons are NOT shoppers!) By the time we left Peoria I was in tears and she was p****d off. It was horrible!!!

(We won't even talk about the fiasco with the cake!!!)

So finally Paul took me aside and said...Look it is her party, and honestly you were picking out dresses that weren't even a Kaitlin type of dress. I guess in my heart I knew he was right...I pictured her in this cute fluffy sundress. She pictured herself in ...jeans and a t-shirt...her usual attire. Well for once in her life I wanted her to dress nice, we have put a lot of time, thought, energy, and money into this party...I just wanted her to look nice. Finally I conceded to the fact that if she would at least wear nice carpi's and a nice shirt I would be satisfied.

Yesterday Kaitlin and I took my Grandma to Springfield to a doctors appt and decided that afterwards we would go over to the mall and look around there. Well She found one dress she liked..of course I hated it, but I bit my tongue, asked them to hold it for an hour or so, and that we would maybe be back for it. We looked at a few others at stores, and she didn't really find anything she liked...until she found this one that was black, pink, silver, and white stripes. (horizontal strips) It is a tube top style with the straps that v-tie around the neck, and so very short. I was like...no way, that is too short (it was barely mid-thigh)...your dad will kill me...besides you are hosting a party not a hooking event. So she just settled on the one dress she had already found, besides that dress had all the colors of her party in it.

Let me now talk about the party favors and decorations. We looked everywhere for Sweet 16 stuff...and could not find anything at all. So she very unwillingly settled on a balloon pattern that had all the colors she wanted in it. Again that was a shopping disaster from hell. (Still not mentioning the cake) Even though she did not love the pattern she was okay with it, just as long as we accented it with all the bright colors. Well we had found the bright colors of her pattern except for the purple.

Since we were in Springfield I figured we would hit the party store for the purple stuff we need and then we were on our way home. (Keep in mind Springfield is a 2 hour drive, and we had left at 10 in the morning...and it was getting to be about 5) I was standing in the party store 2 aisles...count them 1, 2 aisles away from her when I heard....MOM, COME HERE QUICK!!! So I mosey on over to where she is...she is hopping with excitement!! They not only have a Sweet 16 pattern, but she loves the pattern they have. It is very cute...the colors are black, pink, silver, and white...but it is very cute (but in a big girl kind of way!) I told her fine she could get it but that the other stuff had to go back! She was very okay with that...so she got all the Sweet 16 decorations, and then got black, silver, and pink plates...table clothes, and etc to match. She was on cloud 9.

She is now a very happy girl, and we are on our way home, so I am a very happy mommy. As we pass the mall to head home I hear from the backseat...Mom, my dress isn't going to look right with my party stuff. She asks if we can please stop back by the mall and exchange the dress for something else. Are you freaking kidding me? (Did I mention that it took 2 shopping trips, lots of tears, and angry words to find that dress? Now she doesn't want it!!!) I look at my Grandma who simply states...Well she is right. GRRR!!! I am out numbered and in Grandma's car! So back to the mall we go...we return the original dress and exchange it for one just like it only in the "new" party colors.

Yippee...we are going home! (Have I mentioned yet how very patient Paul was being at home with the boys?) We start to walk out of the mall and Grandma turns around takes one look at Kaitlin and says...She does not like that dress either. We are not leaving until she finds something she is happy with. OMG!!! I WANT TO GO HOME!!! Kaitlin asks if she can please try on the pink, black, silver, and white dress one more time. (you mean the hooker dress?) I was so worn out by then I just said...yes. When we got back to the store and started looking around we realized...it is not a dress...it is a top!!! (my here's your sign moment, I guess) And when you put that top with a pair of black leggings it is just as cute as can be! Guess what she ended up getting for her party. The ironic thing is...it isn't a Kaitlin outfit either! But she loves it, it matches her party colors, and she is HAPPY!!! I will post pics after her party, you guys are going to shocked!

I am just happy that she finally found something that we could agree on, because she would have looked awfully funny going to her Sweet 16 party in the same outfit she wore the minute she came into this world. I was absolutely not going to let her wear jeans and a t-shirt...

No I am still not going to talk about the meltdown over the cake...but suffice it to say...Wal-Mart is now doing her cake instead of me!!

Love to all...

We All Loved This...

My family seems to be you tube junkies...and I am not kidding. Paul and the kids can sit and watch youtube.com videos for what seems like hours and hours. I how ever hardly ever get the chance to watch them, usually I am busy doing other things or they are watching things that just don't interest me. Well this morning I actually got on youtube.com to look up a song I wanted Paul to hear and I came across this video. I thing this is the best thing ever!!! This is 1588 prison inmates in a Philippines prison that have been taught these choreographed routines that they perform for their families and friends during visitation day.

We all thought it was so cool to watch these inmates doing a routine that requires them to have a sense of teamwork with each other. I have no idea what crimes they committed to be sent to this prison, but I do think the warden has the right idea. Just think how much smoother this prison runs when they know that they are dependent on each other to make the dance run accordingly. maybe our prison should consider something like this...it just might cut down on the violence in our prisons. However, I'm sure someone would find a way to consider it cruel and unusual punishment. For now we will just continue to enjoy these videos.

Love to all...

Kaitlin's FFA Leadership Camp...

Kaitlin returned on Saturday from a 4 day FFA Leadership Camp. It is funny because on the evening that she was packing she was basically begging us not to make her go. But we told her that she could not back out at the last minute like that. The FFA sponsor could only send 2 people and out of her whole FFA club he chose her and one other person.

In March when the FFA sponsor asked her to go, she really did want to go. She filled out all the paper work, and wrote an essay to get a scholarship from the FFA Alumni Assoc. so that we wouldn't have to pay for it. In April we found out that the Alumni Assoc had granted her the scholarship to go, and all the paperwork was filled out and sent it.

As she began packing to go I think reality set in that she was going to be gone from home for another 4 days. I truly think that because our vacation was so long, and that she had only been home for less than 3 weeks added to her anxiety of not wanting to go. So in the end we pretty much forced her to go. I kind of felt bad because I understood her desire not to be gone from home again, but at the same time she was one of only two people that were picked from her club to go. We felt it was important for her to go and make the Alumni Assoc proud to send her.

Well, when I went to pick her up on Saturday the first thing out of her mouth was...Mom, I cried so hard because I did not want to leave camp. I started laughing...she cried because she didn't want to go, then when she was made to go she had so much fun she cried because she didn't want to leave. Oh, the irony of it all!!!

Anyway...she had a great time, she made lots of new friends, and most of all she learned what it takes to be a quality leader. She is trying really hard to keep in touch with her new "camp" friends. Kaitlin has talked endlessly about her camp experience...the fun...the drama...and the trauma. I am so glad that her FFA sponsor gave her the opportunity to go to this leadership camp. So I am sending out a big THANK YOU to the FFA sponsor for choosing her to go, and to the FFA Alumni Assoc. for making it all happen. She had a blast, and she has developed a confidence in herself that wasn't there before she went to this camp. Thank you all so very much!!

Love to all...

Party Craziness...

We are now in the final throws of party craziness!!! Kaitlin's Sweet 16 Party is right around the corner, and we have planned a big bash to help her celebrate this huge mile marker birthday!!!


It has been kind of crazy though...

First - we had to find a place to have it. She wanted it at the pool, but this years weather has been so unpredictable so that isn't such a good plan. Then we tossed around a few other places until finally we chose the VFW here in town.

Second - she wanted a theme party. A luau to be exact, but could we find anything that was luau themed at this point in the summer? OF COURSE NOT!!! She was pretty disappointed, so then we threw out some other themes. None of them were to her liking, so we just decided to bag the theme. We will have lots of decorations, just not themed ones.

Third - what color decorations did she want? Well that was a loaded question...she is very artistic. So can we say every color in the rainbow was her choice!! She calls it a modified rainbow though because she wants all the really bright colors, not the pastel ones that you think of when you picture a rainbow.

Fourth - we are going to have to feed them. Last year I did all the stuff for nachos, and it went over really well. So guess what we are doing again this year? NACHOS!! Thank goodness, they are easy, and the kids seem to love them. She begged me to make her cake so I guess I will be the cake decorator for this shindig.

I think we have it all under control now, at least I hope so anyway. We will be making up the invites to get them sent out some time this week. I am going to make a collage of her baby pics, and possibly drag out a few items of her childhood memorabilia. It is so hard for me to believe that she is going to be 16 and a Junior in high school. Before I know it she will be gone to college, and I will have to face the grim reality that my baby girl is now a big girl. But until then I will keep pretending that she will be with me forever! After all a little dreaming never hurt anyone!! :)

Love to all...

Another Pandora's Box is Opened...

"If you bring forth what is within you, what is within you will save you. If you don't bring forth what is within you, what is within you will destroy you." - Jodie Picoult, Change of Heart

Again I find myself at a loss of words or even a starting point for this new twist of fate that has happened in my life. I guess the beginning is always a good place to start...

When my dad was married to his second wife they had a daughter, Kaylani, together. I am 6 years older than Kaylani. Well, at the age of 9 (Kaylani would have been 3) my dad's marriage to Kaylani's mom fell apart and ended in divorce. I am not really sure of the events that transpired but when I was 13 or 14 (I can't really remember for sure and Kaylani would have been like 7 or 8) my dad made the difficult choice to terminate his rights and allow Kaylani to be adopted by the man that had been raising her. We hadn't really seen Kaylani at all since she was 4, maybe 5. (Again I'm not exactly sure)

I have always thought about and wondered about Kaylani as I grew up, and especially once I started my own family. In 1994 (Kaylani was 16) when Kaitlin was going to be in a national pageant in Las Vegas (where Kaylani lived, well still does) I looked Kaylani up and asked her if she would be willing to meet with us. She seemed pretty excited at the idea of meeting us, and so when we arrived in Vega we called to let her know we were there. The first time I met with her was before my dad & Beth had gotten there and it was wonderful to see what she looked liked and to spend time with her. Once my dad & Beth arrived we called her again so that she could meet with our dad for the first time. That visit too was wonderful, I often wondered how my dad felt that night when he saw his daughter again for the time in such a long time. (I now have a very good idea of what he was thinking and feeling...lol) After Kaylani (and her mom) left I had great hopes of us keeping in touch with each other. Unfortunately, it just didn't happen. It really wasn't my fault or hers life just kind of happened.

About 4 years ago my brother (he is my dad and my step-mom's son) went to Las Vegas and looked Kaylani up. From what I understand they had an amazing time together, and ever since have kept in touch with each other. Kaylani then went into reunion with our dad as well, but for some reason her and I never did. There were a couple times I would try to call her, but to no avail. Again life was just happening for her, and I decided that I should just let her be. That when she was ready she would contact me.

April last year Kaylani had her first baby. A beautiful baby girl, Seneca Nevaeh, I was excited for her and my dad. I was even more excited when she sent pics of the baby to my dad. Again, I tried to make contact with her, but she was busy with her baby...and life just kept on happening.

In June last year our brother and his family was getting ready to be moved to Hawaii with the Us Army, during his going away party Kaylani called. My dad asked her if she wanted to talk to me and you can only imagine how thrilled I was when she said yes. (I hadn't seen her or heard her voice in almost 14 years) I got on the phone and had no idea of what to say. (it must have been God giving me a trial run for my call that would come almost a year later.) But we started with Hello, and then it just flowed from there. I was ecstatic that she wanted to talk to me. I WAS going to do everything in my power to keep in touch with her, I made up my mind. Well...AGAIN...life happened...and I didn't do it.

So imagine my surprise when my phone rang last night at about 10:00 PM and kaylani's number showed up in the caller id. I couldn't answer it fast enough. Basically she was answering a SOS text I had sent out to her. I had sent her text asking her for some...any...advice that she would be willing to give me about the mind of an adoptee. I chose to contact Kaylani because she was only 16 when she met our dad for the first time. Although I am a member of an on-line support group for all 3 sides of the adoption triad, most of the adoptees on that support site are all older and went into reunion much later in life. So I wanted someone that could really understand the mind of a young adoptee. We talked for almost 3 hours about my adoption journey, her emotional roller coaster ride of a reunion, my reunion roller coaster, her baby, my children, and just life in general. It was so wonderful, she sounds so happy and fulfilled...and that gives me hope for Jenna. I have made a commitment to myself to do everything in my power to keep in touch with Kaylani, , to let her know that she is loved and wanted by myself and my family. And I hope that she will accept us into her life as an extended family (not as a replacement for her family).

I have slowly come to realize that I have a whole bunch of Pandora's boxes in my past that I haven't dealt with. I guess God is telling me that it is time, it is time to stop hurting, and really know what it means to live. I have no idea where my reunion with Kaylani will lead, and I am not getting ahead of myself this time. I now can truly understand the mind frame and space that the adoptee needs to be able to process this thing we call "reunion".

Kaylani, thank you for being there when I needed you. It may not seem like you did much to help, but believe me when I say...you really did help. When you returned that frantic text with your phone call last night you made me feel like you care about me...and it meant more than you will ever know. Thank you for your words of wisdom...thank you for the hope you gave me...but most of all thank you for the time you spent with me last night. I know you probably had a million other things you could have been doing, but you chose to give that time to me...Thank you, Kay. I love you!!!